join me in my challenge to have an entire month all about 'me'.

snooze, snooze, snooze. reset alarm clock for 15 mins later to avoid hitting snooze for the forth time which leaves me feeling lazy. ---> grab some quick food from the fridge (aka unhealthy crap) because i'm running late from my 'snooze' overload. don't forget to grab my gym bag before i leave the house to workout after work. ---> drag my butt to work and take a tiny cat nap on the couch with the kids while watching a movie (this is a HUGE no, no. don't tell my boss). ---> leave work with the intention to go to workout, but don't go because i'm so tired. it's the thought that counts...right?! ---> pack my nights full of hangouts and don't get home until late. ---> stay up until 12 on the computer checking facebook and think to myself, man i'm going to be dog tired when my alarm goes off at 5:30am tomorrow. ---> 5:30 comes ....snooze, snooze, snooze...

things that are missing from the above list...

1) working out; no Lo, the thought doesn't count, get your butt to the gym.

2) sleep; i feel like i am literally dragging through life. no matter how much i try to convince myself i am a person who only needs a few hours of shut eye a night, it's not true. sleep is important and i need at least 6-7 hours a night.

3) time to myself; this excludes my computer. with my laptop comes facebook which technically is not time to myself, it's time with myself and my560 best friends!

this brings me to the point of this post. september has been a brutal month for self care and i am literally am exhausted. have you ever felt like you are on a conveyor belt and you riding along and though you feel like you need to stop for a rest, things just keep motoring on?? it's so tiring! thus i am declaring the month of october as the 'me' month. i'm going to look out for what is best for me and getting a grip on life again.

sometimes love is intoxicating

tuesdays tune

the script - nothing

there is something about irish accents that i can't resist. i love this band. i hope you do too.

a funny reflection

gather round, it's story time with Lo...

early this evening i was chatting with my friend, Des, who is currently at the hospital with her sister who is in labor. des was saying how she felt like she was going to pass out from the whole experience. i couldn't help but laugh thinking about my exact reaction to first time i witnessed a birth.

a few years ago (which means i was only 20, just a young thing) i was doing my practicum at an adoption agency when one of my clients went into labor. as my clients liaison between the hospital and the adoption agency i was thrown into the position of 'birth coach' when she suddenly went into labor 4 weeks early.

in the moment i thought i was the coolest thing ever knowing that i would have the best story to tell at school the next morning. i mean come on, who actually gets to deliver a baby during their practicum? maybe someone who's taking midwifery, but i'm a social worker, that's far from anything medically related, but i digress.

things were ticking along just fine until it came time to breathe deep and start pushing. i was really good at the early parts of the labor like, rubbing her back, being an all-star encourager, and ordering around the nurses getting my clients needs met. however, when things started flowing (in all sense of the word) i froze up.

i was perfectly fine staying up by my clients head saying things like 'breathe'. all the while i think i was actually reminding myself out loud to keep breathing as i couldn't believe what was about to happen. the doctor then reached over, grabbed me, pulled me down to 'her opening' and stated, very unprofessionally i may add, 'young lady, you should watch this as it will be the best form of birth control you will ever get'. he was right.

the whole ordeal ended with my face losing all coloring and the nurse grabbing me a chair as i almost fainted. not only was this experience the most nasty thing i have ever experienced, it confirmed my desire to adopt children.

people afterwords would come up to me asking me things like, 'was it the most amazing thing you've seen?'. i would pause and tactfully respond with 'no'. it's all sloppy, not pretty, there's a lot of pain and screaming involved, and gross spewing everywhere.

so for those of you who are about to have a baby... well congrats and ignore everything i have just said as i'm sure your birthing experience will be the one exception to everything i have said. however, in my personal opinion, who ever said that child birth was the most beautiful, miraculous thing, had an interesting view of beauty.

i look back on this experience and laugh in disbelief that i actually got to witness it. i am pleased that i will likely not have to do it again and if i do i will likely be the one screaming in pain, not having to witness whats going on.

do my thoughts/opinions on this topic make me any less of a women?? am i the only female that feels this way?

1951

happy 60th birthday to an amazing man!!! what a blessing it has been to have you in my life Pops, i love you dearly. here is to another amazing year.

Comments

i have had about 6 people in the last week say 'i read your post and wanted to comment but couldn't figure out how'. i have done my research and i have figured out a easy way.

steps:

1) click on 'comment as' and pick anonymous.

2) write your comment - leaving it anonymous or signing your name
3) write out the word verification

DONE!

it's as easy as 1, 2, 3! now you can feel free to leave as many comments telling me what a nut case i am.

Setting The Bar High - Lo

i think that there is something incredibly powerful about sharing your hopes and dreams with people. it allow people to see what you hold near to your heart, creatures a sense of accountability, and empowers you to achieve your goals when you publicly declare them.

thus leading me to my new idea. i want to create an avenue for people to declare what they are striving towards. we are all very capable of achieving whatever we want and too often we sell ourselves short.

stay tuned as i capture people 'setting the bar high' and declaring what they are striving to reach.

a location issue.

how would one that lives by this.....

become really good at this...

i think i was born in the wrong place. don't get me wrong, i am extremely grateful for the beautiful mountains and my current surroundings. but you know that pull that high that some people get when they are in nature?? i get that when i am around the ocean. i was to be in the water. have you ever heard some one say 'i need to go for a run to clear my head'... i feel the same way when i swim, it help me sort through my brain.

if i could dream big (and unrealistically) and do anything for a living, i think i would want to be a pro surfer. i have only surfed once in my life but i loved it. the high that surfers must get when they are 'getting tubed' in a wave (yes i am up to date in my surfer lingo), that's the type of nature that gives me a high.

if you had nothing holding you back and were able to do absolutely anything you wanted for a living, what would it be?

a gnarly transformation

have you ever had the chance to see someone progress at something from the starting point, when they are only so-so at a skill, to a place where you are amazed by whatever it is they were training for?! check this out...

my 'little' (but not actually so little) brother scotty, or youngin' as i tend to call him, loves to snowboard. he has always been pretty good, but so are a lot of people that live in the rockies like we do. last winter i remember going snowboarding with him and standing in the snowboarding park freezing my butt of taking picture of him doing this...

it took forever to get this picture and i remember being nervous for him to do this 'crazy trick'. once we got this picture we were all smiles and we thought he was the bomb!

i look back now and laugh at us. i laugh at how extreme i thought youngin' was for executing what i thought at the time was a stellar trick. that was only 6 months ago. he now lives in New Zealand and is able to snowboard all year round (as it is winter there right now). look at how far he has come in only 6 months, do you see now why i laugh at the above picture...

these pictures are kind of small unfortunately but i can assure you that they look pretty 'gnar' (translation: gnarly, meaning high on the scale of dangerousness and coolness) as the kiwi in my brother would say.

what exactly causes someone to be able to progress so quickly and continue to experience things in life that bring extreme excitement?

it may not be the classiest way of saying it but youngin' makes a good point, 'it's all about having balls to just do it'. for those of us without balls, guts will do just fine. if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and do things that might be scary as all get out, you too will experience a gnarly transformation.